you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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