his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
