True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
