I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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