i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
