at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
