Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
