I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
