just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So much Jack, so little girl.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
