people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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