I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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