I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
