I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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