Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
