If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
