I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
