glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
