So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
