She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
