how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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