How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
