Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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