I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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