the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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