no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
