I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
