I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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