Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
