you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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