Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
