her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
