If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
