whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
