Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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