doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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