My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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