Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
