they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
