So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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