I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
