Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize