Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
