I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I puked a lego.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
