Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
