I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
