you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
