I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
this just has baby written all over it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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