i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
