Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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