I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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